Tag: ministry burnout

The Other Side of Your Comfort Zone

Believe Again Devotional Part 5

Scripture

Genesis. (12:1–3 NLT)

“Leave your native country, your relatives, and your father’s family, and go to the land that I will show you. I will make you into a great nation. I will bless you and make you famous, and you will be a blessing to others. I will bless those who bless you and curse those who treat you with contempt. All the families on earth will be blessed through you” 

Devotional Thought

It is the questions that every child asks and every parent has to answer: “Why?”

“Buckle your seatbelt.”

“Why”

“Eat your vegetables.”

“Why”

Have you ever wondered what the “why” is behind the “why”? In other words, why do we ask, “why”? We ask, “”why,” because we want to know what is on the otherside of our obedience. We want to know the reason and the reward for our compliance when we are being asked to sacrifice or make an adjustment that is uncomfortable.

Have you noticed God does not always give us the reason up front? Sometimes we feel like we have to have everything figured out before taking a first step. In, The Grave Robber, Mark Batterson says, “We want God to reveal the second step before we take the first but faith is taking the first step before God reveals the second!”

In my book, Believe Again, I share how I stepped away from my role in full-time ministry because God had told us to go first, and then He would show us what to do next. This rang true to our hearts. We had peace about this being God’s will, but we struggled to accept the risk that came with this new course. We were hoping God would “show” first, and then we could “go.” Our fear of the future created a long season of waffling back and forth until God gave me a dream, that was really more of a memory.

In the dream, I was child playing football. When the ball was kicked to me, instead of picking it up and running with it, I fell on the ball and covered it up. I was afraid of fumbling and my teammates were screaming for me not to pick it up. When I got to the sidelined my coach asked me why I did not pick up the ball and run. 

“What if I fumbled?”  Was my excuse.

My coach replied, “What if you score a touchdown?” 

God does not want you to live your life falling on the ball when He has called you to pick up the ball and run with it.  That dream caused me to realize that I needed to live for an audience of one and obey right away.

We made a lot of sacrifices along the way that I do not know that I would have agreed to if I knew all that it would have cost me up front. I had to mature with each step of the way, and as I did, I saw the value in what I would have to give up next in order to follow God outside of my comfort zone. What I learned is that life truly begins on the otherside of my comfort zone.

Our success in life does not depend on our ability to give God the solutions we want and then believe for that to happen, but by our ability to depend on God as He leads us according to His will.

Reflection

Have you had an experience where God has asked you to leave your comfort zone in the way He was asking Abraham in Genesis 12:1-3? What happened?

How does God ask you to leave your comfort zone on a daily basis?

How would you define your spiritual comfort zone right now and what may be keeping you from not living beyond it?

What role does the fear of man play in our obedience to God? Is there any fear of what other may think that is keeping you from prioritizing what God thinks of you?

Disappointment, Burnout, and Religion

I was recently on the Bridgecast Podcast with Pastor David Lewkowicz. We met an ARC event last year, and he has been a huge blessing to have as a friend. I am so glad he asked me to be on Season 3 of his podcast to talk about Believe Again and church planting.

It was a lot of fun recording this episode. We talked about my favorite superhero (no way you guess who it is), I tell a Boudreaux and Thibodeaux joke, and David does a pretty amazing Coach O impression. You will also hear us talk about disappointment, burnout, and religion. I share some lessons learned from my book, Believe Again, and also include some stories I wish I could have included in the book.

This was a lot of fun, and I think you will enjoy listening. 

You can listen to the podcast by following this link. https://www.podpage.com/the-nook-podcast/going-from-on-fire-to-burned-out-josh-roberie/

Going From On Fire to Burned Out

This week I am able to be on The Nook Podcast.

In this episode I talked about going from on fire to burned out and how to come back spiritually and emotionally stronger. We also also talk about my book, Believe Again, and I tell parts of our story I have not shared anywhere else

This was a lot of fun, and I think you will enjoy listening.

You can find to the episode wherever you listen to podcasts or by following this link. https://www.podpage.com/the-nook-podcast/going-from-on-fire-to-burned-out-josh-roberie/

Right Ladder, Wrong Building

My Path to Spiritual Burnout

Energizer Bunny for Jesus

I wasn’t your typical teenager or even the average church kid. I was pretty radical about my faith. To avoid distractions, I asked my parents to disconnect the cable in my room. I got rid of my TV completely. Instead of a gaming system for Christmas, I wanted a leather bond NIV Life Application Study Bible. At one point, I took apart my bed and started sleeping on the floor. I didn’t want to be tempted to sleep in and miss praying in the morning before school. I also thought this would be an excellent way to prepare myself in case one day I had to sleep on the ground on the mission field. All of this was done, not out of religious duty, but out of genuine love for God. 

In my senior year of high school, I started a Christian club at my Christian School. Which I know sounds silly. Especially since we already had chapels, daily devotionals, and classes that began with prayer. Our unofficial slogan was, “We put the C in B.C.S. (Bethany Christian School).” That kind of lets you know what our perspective was if you weren’t in our club.

 I also got special permission to miss school during lunchtime to speak at Christian clubs at other high schools in the area. Even sports were just another opportunity for me to share my faith. After pickup basketball games in my neighborhood, I would hold the ball and make everyone wait to play the next game until after I shared my testimony and gave an altar call. This full itinerary doesn’t include the small groups, prayer meetings, retreats, and leadership gatherings I also attended at church. You are probably starting to see that I was a little Energizer Bunny for Jesus. But how long could I keep this up?

University Missionary

I continued this same zealous routine in college. On my first day on campus, the front page of the school newspaper read, “LSU Ranked #1 Party School.” One of my friends posted this in his room like it was a badge of honor. I saw things differently. University wasn’t a place for me to prepare for a career or make memories. It was a mission field that needed to be conquered (The Seashell Message got me). 

Even when my grades suffered, I still made sure I was at church every time the doors were open. I volunteered for our church more than most people work while in college and I still worked full-time. I never stopped to ask myself if something was out of balance. At this point, my family tried to intervene. They asked me to slow down with the church involvement. I just thought they were outsiders who couldn’t understand my passion. 

Was Something Wrong?

I missed out on many typical aspects of the college experience because of the time and energy I devoted to my spiritual pursuits. For example, one weekend, a friend of mine and I decided not to eat until we had read the entire New Testament. Another time I had a ticket to LSU’s first football National Championship game in over 40 years but gave it up to go on yet another retreat.

There were benefits to some of this, but it was also very much out of balance. I limited my class load to the bare minimum to be more involved with church activities. I went to youth services and stayed out late in revival meetings many times the night before an exam. This limited class schedule caused me to go into debt even though I was on scholarship because I had to attend an extra year of school to complete my requirements to graduate. These were all sacrifices I was happy to make at the time. “Onward Christian Soldier!”

When a Good Thing Becomes a Bad Thing

After graduating from LSU, I joined the church staff. Working at the church kept my ministry plans moving forward even though I was becoming increasingly exhausted from years of a demanding religious routine. My weekly schedule had enough church meetings to fill most senior pastor’s month. I was doing good things but had the nagging feeling I wasn’t being true to myself. The busyness could only cover up the restlessness in my soul for so long. 

I had to learn that a good thing could become a bad thing when it is taken to an extreme. Healing needs to take place when we are producing out of insecurity or a need to be recognized. I did not know it at the time, but I was manifesting all of the symptoms of codependency (see the 5 attributes in this blog). I was a religious addict who was using spiritual activities to mask insecurity and wounds that needed emotional healing. Without being properly addressed, people like me end up hurting themselves and others. I experienced these consequences first-hand in multiple ways. At the time, my identity was more connected to what I did for God instead of who I was in Christ. It was hard to see that I was speeding towards a cliff of religious disappointment.

Right Ladder, Wrong Building

What started as a passionate love relationship with God had become a high-performance machine of religious production. It provided a way for me to be elevated and achieve my goals, but at what cost? I had become proud, critical, and generally spiritually unhealthy. Eventually, I would reach the top of my ladder only to realize I had leaned it against the wrong building. 

This experience was like a spiritual carbon monoxide poisoning. I wasn’t aware the air I was breathing was becoming toxic. Perhaps I was too busy to notice my first love had been exchanged for the trap of religious performance. I was naturally driven, which made it even easier for me to fall into this pit. Even though the signs were already warning me as I started my adventure in full-time ministry, it would be another seven years before I changed course.

Time to Believe Again

Eventually, I decided to make a U-turn before running into a brick wall that could have ended in disaster. For me, that looked like stepping away from full-time ministry when it appeared everything was going great. The result was over two years of working in the secular world and attending church as a member instead of a staff member or leader. You may wonder why I would make that kind of change like, but that decision forever changed how I view God, church, and people. It is from those experiences that I wrote the book Believe Again: Finding Faith After Losing Religion. 

The book is written much like this blog post. Each chapter is a short essay where I share a story from this incredibly uncomfortable but transformative season of life. Believe Again will be a great help for those who have experienced church hurt or spiritual burnout. If you know someone who has gone through something like this then please order a copy of this book and give it to them. They will laugh, identify with the story, and hopefully find inspiration to begin again in their faith.

Use this link to order Believe Again: Finding Faith After Losing Religion in paperback or Kindle edition.

Pre-order here

Keys to a High Performance Christianity (Part Two)

A Life Changing Perspective

“The greatest question in all of human life is summed up when we ask, ‘What would Jesus do?’”

Charles M. Sheldon, In His Steps

Read part one of High-Performance Christianity here.

Step 6: Perspective

My life changed dramatically when I honestly asked if my opinions were based on Jesus or popular Christian culture. 

Examine your past teachings and current convictions through the example of Jesus. Start asking, what would Jesus do in this situation, instead of what others expect me to do. Abandon stereotypes of how you think a Christian should behave and make it your goal to embrace what Christ would say or do.

Step 7: Authenticity 

One of the most fun parts of embracing grace is learning to accept yourself and unashamedly live comfortably in your own skin. It can be intimidating to do this in a church world of behavior modification. You cannot live authentically while trying to live up to the preferences of people. 

Honestly, I can’t guarantee being the real you will be celebrated. I have just come to the place I would rather be rejected for being who I really am than accepted but exhausted trying to maintain everyone’s expectations for me.

Step 8: Guard 

A grace-filled person knows to guard their heart. Be aware of the “old ways,” as I call them, sneaking back into your life. 

I have become an expert at apologizing to people I do not think deserve an apology. This is not being fake. It is guarding my heart against making other people my debtors. I want to set people free. I do not want to be their prison guard holding them captive until they ask me for forgiveness. That’s no fun for either of us.

Leaving your religious rut means leaving old perspectives and possibly past relationships behind as well. It will hurt when people misunderstand your new positive Jesus-oriented approach to life. You will have to protect your feelings from this. There will be those who give grace a bad name by using it as an excuse to sin. Do not let this distract you. Keep heading down your own path. You will also have to watch out for pollutants that can distract you from the Lover of your soul. Keep your wellspring pure and refreshing.

Step 9: Rest 

I used to think a restful day was a wasted day. I would feel condemnation whenever a day went by where I had nothing to do. At some point, I read a Japanese proverb that said, “He who rests is never tired.” Something clicked, and rest became a principle that supports two main ideas for me.

The first is the Sabbath. True rest is part of worship. It acknowledges my need for God. It causes me to humbly admit that even if I did work 24/7, I could never accomplish everything God has for me without Him. It also causes me to pause long enough to appreciate things, and therefore express gratitude to God. 

The second is longevity. “He who rests is never tired.” If I learn to recoup and rejuvenate, I will have more energy for the task at hand. I’ll be better prepared to do my best when it is time to work. I won’t burn out and can last longer in the race. Every marathon has water tables, and a runner that expects to win knows the importance of pacing. Rest is not laziness. It is humility, worship, and intentionality.

Step 10: Value

Get your value from who you are in Christ instead of where you are in life. Religious burnout will always fight to turn this around. It causes you to complicate things. Valuing your position in Christ over your performance for Christ forces you to keep it simple. If you seek to be close to God’s heart, then your heart will start beating like His, and you will live your life as Jesus did.

Are You Tired of Being a Christian?

How to turn your exhausting religion into an enjoyable relationship

“If my activism, however well-motivated, drives out love, I am stuck with law, not the gospel of grace. then I have misunderstood Jesus’ gospel.” 

Phillip Yancey, What’s So Amazing About Grace?

Depleted Yet Applauded

Have you ever met someone who is more interested in complaining about being exhausted than they are in receiving help? Burnout is the red badge of courage for some Christians. They would rather live depleted yet applauded than refreshed and balanced. A balanced life is not as attractive to them because it often goes unnoticed.  

What is the draw of exhaustion? It is where you find your justification to complain, compare, and criticize when you are stuck in a religious performance trap. It causes you to feel protected from criticism when you fall short. “How could I have done anything wrong? Look at how hard I work!” 

It also re-enforces your offense when you do not get what you think you deserve. “Why are they being promoted instead of me? I have cooked and cleaned while they have wasted time instead of working!”

Martha, Did You Know?

What did Mary know in Luke 10:38-42 that Martha did not?

A “Martha” measures her prayers, Bible reading, and serving. Her spiritual speedometer makes it easier to determine what she deserves and what others do not. The problem with this practice is you never really know what is going on with others behind closed doors. That is God’s business and not yours.

A “Mary” may seem to neglect some things, but she does not lose sight of the most important thing. Her reward is not in getting recognized, but rather in experiencing the pleasure of God’s presence. She usually ends up getting both.

It can be hard to see someone receive more for doing less, but that is not what this is all about. If things really were fair none of us would like what we got. 

I used to be a Martha myself. I took pride in having a hard time resting. I always felt I needed to be doing something. “I must be more committed than others,” I thought, “because I do not even enjoy taking a break.” 

This line of thinking should be a red alert on the dashboard of your spiritual life. It is not a medal of accomplishment you hang proudly around your neck. It reveals a restless soul that is not at peace.

The Performance Trap

As I have said before, you should value your position in Christ over your performance for Christ. When you over-emphasize performance, you end up getting less of it. Eventually, this leads to religious burnout. 

The Christian performance trap wants you to believe it is unspiritual to ever say no to spiritual things. The reality is, it is not spiritual to always say yes to more. It is more spiritual to say, “yes” to your priorities, the things God has asked you to do, and “no” to good things that take you away from those things.

Religious Formulas

Your good works should be motivated by your love relationship with Jesus and not a spiritual reward system. You make God your debtor when you work hard because you think He will bless you with what you want at the end of your labors (position, recognition, etc.).

Religious formulas like this can also influence how you pray and navigate problems. For example, “If I pray or do this, and have enough faith, then God will do that.” This mindset boxes God in to only what you can understand. It offers a easy fix to your problems that resembles a “get rich quick” scheme. The problem is, you inevitably become discouraged in your relationship with God when things do not work out the way you thought they would. 

All of this adds an unnecessary weight to your spiritual journey. 

It can be hard to follow the Holy Spirit day-to-day instead of trusting in things that bring immediate comfort. Checking off a box seems easier than checking-in with God. The box does not challenge us or require waiting. Even so, we should always choose a relationship with a living God over dead religious formulas. 

A Labor of Love

Exhaustion often begins with passion, zeal, and good intentions. You may be able to lift something you were never meant to carry, but you will drop it before you reach your destination. Lay down your heavy burden of burnout Christianity and take up the yoke of Christ. It is easy and light. It is a labor of love.

Loosen Your Halo

How to start enjoying your Christian Faith

“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

Howard Thurman

Finding Pleasure

In his book, The Ragamuffin Gospel, Brennan Manning tells the story of a man who goes to his doctor with a splitting headache. After further inspection, it turns out the proud man’s life is perfect. There really shouldn’t be any reason for his stabbing pain. That is when the doctor gives his final diagnosis, “It looks like your halo is on too tight.”

I used to have a hard time believing God took pleasure in me finding pleasure in life. This may sound confusing to someone who has never been in a religious performance cycle. Those with similar experiences as me will quickly know what I mean. Taking walks and enjoying hobbies can be difficult for someone who thinks they need to always be doing to be pleasing to God.

A halo that is too tight shines its light on sin so intensely it hardly brightens any other part of the believer’s life. 

The Voice of the Oppressor

“Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor.”

Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird

A guilty conscience may appear to be spiritual sensitivity. It is actually closer to a focus on sin instead of God. Sometimes this unhealthy pattern is confused with the godly guilt that leads to repentance. 2 Corinthians 7:10 shows us the difference:

“For the kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us away from sin and results in salvation. There’s no regret for that kind of sorrow. But worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance, results in spiritual death.” 

 2 Corinthians 7:10

The destructive kind of guilt brings attention to your sin and leaves you there. Godly conviction is different. It alerts you to what is in the way of your relationship with God. It then offers grace so you can change. Condemnation brings repeated failure. Conviction breaks that cycle with grace. 

Enjoying Life

Christianity is paradoxical. You give so you can gain. You serve to lead. But is suffering a requirement to please God? I do not think so. Suffering and obedience are not the same things. Christians should be willing to suffer in obedience when it is necessary. At the same time, your obedience should more often bring delight than pain. 

Psalm 37:4 says God “will give you your heart’s desires.” The Holy Spirit places the right desires in your heart and also brings them to pass. He wants your godly ambitions to be seeds that grow into fruitful trees. When this happens, your thriving life will bring glory to Him and provide nourishment to others. 

Time to Tune In

Christians should not feel bad about feeling good and good about feeling bad. This jams the signals of your heart. We know God wants you to tune into your heart because He tells you to guard your heart above all else (Proverbs 4:23). If you should not be listening to your heart, then why is it so essential to protect it? 

Do not confuse guarding your heart with turning it off. While being led by your feelings is destructive, so is ignoring them altogether. The frequency of your heart gets scrambled when you equate feeling bad with being more spiritual.

Guarding your heart should include dying to your flesh, tuning out the wrong messages of the world, and ignoring the deceiver’s voice. These are all things that pollute your heart. You should “feel good” about protecting your heart’s desires, not denying them. If you are too busy finding things to feel guilty about, then you will not have time to dream for God. You will be on the sideline instead of bringing about the change He wants to see. It is time to tune into your heart and stop feeling bad about feeling good.

Pursuit Instead of Perfection

“I used to think you had to be special for God to use you, but now I know you simply need to say yes.”

Bob Goff, Love Does

Pursuing the Perfect One

There is a difference between seeking the Perfect One and pursuing perfection. Christians should strive to be like Christ, but also have the humility to know Jesus is the only one who will ever be perfect. 

The path to religious burnout says you are on an uphill climb that leads to the peak of perfection. In actuality, it is a hamster wheel that never ends. 

The Imperfect Obsession

Perfection Christianity is centered on you instead of Christ. You can know if you are stuck in perfection instead of pursuit by asking, “Would I do the same good works if God were the only one who knew about them?” When receiving credit for what you do becomes more important than God getting the glory for giving you the strength to do those good works, then you have slipped into perfectionism. 

This mindset believes you deserve recognition for what you do, but there is always a good “spiritual” reason why others do not. “I don’t want them to get prideful if I praise them too much! Then they will stop growing. By the way, why haven’t they told me how awesome I am lately?”

This imperfect obsession will not allow you to rest and enjoy God. It causes you to do things that will get noticed and ignore the things He values that do not. You must continue to perform and reach for perfection to find meaning in your faith.

Missing the Point

Championing pursuit over perfection is key to sustaining a meaningful Christianity. Jesus simplified faith, but perfection complicates it. 

Discipline and rituals are good until they become substitutes for what they intend to protect. I like to think of my convictions as those bumps on the side of the road that let you know when you begin to drift out of your lane. They are great at reminding you to realign your steering but would make a terrible GPS system. If your standards turn your warm, loving relationship with God into cold hard religion, then they are missing the point.

You do not have to get rid of your spiritual guidelines or moral code to overcome burnout. The rules of the road keep us safe, but they are not the reason why we drive. The solution is neither becoming more disciplined nor abandoning rules altogether. It is returning to your first love and pursuing God heart.  

The Work of Love

Look at what Jesus said to the church of Ephesus about their attempt to be perfect without love.

“I know all the things you do. I have seen your hard work and your patient endurance. I know you don’t tolerate evil people. You have examined the claims of those who say they are apostles but are not. You have discovered they are liars. You have patiently suffered for me without quitting.

“But I have this complaint against you. You don’t love me or each other as you did at first! Look how far you have fallen! Turn back to me and do the works you did at first…”

Revelation 2:2-5a

What are the works they did at first? It is the work of love. It is loving God and letting what you do for others overflow from that instead of maintaining a religious standard. Pursuit brings freedom. Jesus’ pursuit of us brought us freedom from sin (Romans 5:8). Our pursuit of Him will keep us free from religious bondage (Galatians 5:1). He wants you to pursue Him in response, not perfection. Who or what are you pursuing?

Up Instead of Around

“Even the breath we use to worship God comes from Him.”

A.W. Tozer, The Pursuit of God

Do You Like Me?

I liked to be liked. You probably do as well. We are this way because God created us to be relational. When this attribute goes to an extreme, it becomes less about relationship and more about building up your self-image. A focus on yourself usually comes at the expense of others. If wearing yourself out climbing the ladder of recognition ceases to work, you knock others down a rung or off the ladder altogether. When that fails, you de-value yourself because you do not appear to be measuring up. 

A person heading towards religious burnout will eventually replace responding to God’s heart with the approval of other Christians. They gain satisfaction from the appearance of doing better or achieving more than others. What is lost in this toxic cycle is God’s perspective of you and your brothers and sisters in Christ.

When you forget God likes you just the way you are, you turn His process of mercy into a system of performance. Everyone becomes measured by manmade standards instead of encouraged in their journey. This form of legalism causes God’s word to become a way to determine how far people have drifted away instead of a tool to bring them closer to Him.

The Path to the Top

A Christian caste system categorizes by labels instead of appreciating how much God values people. Those who meet your standards of a holy life are the ruling elite. Others who have yet to attain your regimen of performance are marked as abusers of grace. When you fall short, you hide it. When they fall short, their sincerity and even their salvation are called into question.

This is not what God intended. It is a path leading many to insecurity and burnout. Comparing yourself to others is a poor measure of your true worth and of theirs. 

If the top of the church food chain is where you want to be, do not look to be in front of people. Get behind them. There is more room back there anyway. This extra space makes it easier for you to be yourself. You will grow your influence by growing people. While everyone else is crowding the front, and contorting their lives around being celebrated, you will actually be living a life of meaning and purpose.

The more you get behind people, the more people will get behind you. One day, you may turn around and discover more people are behind you than ever would have been if you had given up your authentic-self in an attempt to take the short cut to get in front of them. Living this way gains people’s trust instead of just their attention. When you find your success in helping other people find God and their own success, you have uncovered the key to lasting influence.

Know Your Worth

“God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it.”

– Ephesians 2:8-9

You cannot get to the point of deserving God’s goodness more than others. God already showed you how much you are worth by bankrupting heaven to purchase your salvation on the Cross. You never have or will deserve that fantastic gift.

Understanding this truth will remind you to look up instead of around for your affirmation. You will never determine your purpose by looking at the other tools in the toolbox. You must keep your eyes on the Craftsman to understand your design. God is the author and finisher of your faith. You can trust Him and his plan for you.

This blog is an excerpt from my new mini-book, Surviving Religious Burnout, is out now. You can order it at Amazon, Kindle, Apple Books, and Barnes and Noble.