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Is It Unspiritual to Feel Forsaken?

Where Is God When It Hurts

Is it unspiritual to feel forsaken? While the feeling itself is not spiritual, it is important to know emotions are also not unspiritual. Authenticity is an essential attribute of true spirituality. Being honest about how we feel is not the same as letting our feelings control us, and going through a hard time does not mean you are less spiritual than someone who is not.

Inauthentic spirituality wants you to feel guilty about feeling bad. It says to have something going wrong in your life means there must be something wrong with you. This faux spirituality projects an image of perfection that easily chips under further inspection.

Is It OK To Be Honest About Our Pain

Psalm 38 is an excellent example of how God encourages us to be honest about our hurts, doubts, and sufferings.

We first see that he is honest about his sins and shortcomings.

1 O Lord, rebuke me not in your anger, nor discipline me in your wrath!
2 For your arrows have sunk into me, and your hand has come down on me.
3 There is no soundness in my flesh because of your indignation; there is no health in my bones because of my sin.
4 For my iniquities have gone over my head; like a heavy burden, they are too heavy for me.
5 My wounds stink and fester because of my foolishness,

Performance Christianity makes it challenging to find healing and deliverance from our sins because that mentality makes it difficult for us to own and take responsibility for our mistakes. When imperfection leads to rejection, redemption becomes impossible. Instead, we get hiding, defending, and hypocrisy.

Authenticity Is Not UnSpiritual

As we continue with this Psalm, we see that authenticity is celebrated, not avoided.

6 I am utterly bowed down and prostrate; all the day I go about mourning.
7 For my sides are filled with burning, and there is no soundness in my flesh.
8 I am feeble and crushed; I groan because of the tumult of my heart.
9 O Lord, all my longing is before you; my sighing is not hidden from you.
10 My heart throbs; my strength fails me, and the light of my eyes—it also has gone from me.

Some may say that David is being negative and needs to focus on the bright side of things. That perspective causes us to miss out on the hidden treasure found in God only when we bring our authentic feelings to Him.

Not Everyone Understands Our Pain

Then we come to feelings of rejection.

11 My friends and companions stand aloof from my plague, and my nearest kin stand far off.
12 Those who seek my life lay their snares; those who seek my hurt speak of ruin and meditate treachery all day long.

Have you ever been in a situation that is so bad when friends try to relate their lack of understanding only highlights the pain more? They want to summarize your suffering in an attempt to empathize, but as foreigners to your turmoil, they fall short of fully describing your experience.

This is a tough place to be, but you are not alone. We have Psalms like this to remind us that when no one else understands, God does. He is with this in these moments. When human friendship falls short of relating to our sorrow, we get an invitation to intimacy with God that we would not have received otherwise. He draws us in, under the shadow of his wing, to offer comfort and refuge.

How To Respond to Difficult People

People are not the enemy, but as this Palm shoes, the enemy uses people to introduce conflict in our spiritual path. How does David respond to these attacks?

13 But I am like a deaf man; I do not hear, like a mute man who does not open his mouth.
14 I have become like a man who does not hear, and in whose mouth are no rebukes.

David uses these attacks to fine-tune his spiritual sensitivities. He knows some voices should be ignored. We should not listen to them, and we need not engage with them. Instead, we should refocus on elevating God’s voice above all others and responding to what He says about us and to us.

15 But for you, O Lord, do I wait; it is you, O Lord my God, who will answer.
16 For I said, “Only let them not rejoice over me, who boast against me when my foot slips!”
17 For I am ready to fall, and my pain is ever before me.

What We Learn From Waiting

Waiting is what makes authentic Christianity difficult. We do not want to deal with waiting. It gives us the opportunity to doubt ourselves and God and to believe our enemies are right. It takes more faith to wait than it does to act, sometimes.

Something else happens when we learn to ignore the wrong voices, listen to the right voice, and wait before acting.

18 I confess my iniquity; I am sorry for my sin.

When we do this, we are able to recognize the sin in our lives that hinders our relationship with God, others and prevents us from being the best reflection of them. When we respond to every attack and wrong voice, then we fall into the trap of blaming others and overlooking our own shortcomings. When we tune our spiritual station to God’s voice and wait, we often do not hear him pointing out what is wrong with others, but rather what he wants to change in us.

The Path to Redemption

This does not mean that the problem people in your life will go away.

19 But my foes are vigorous, they are mighty, and many are those who hate me wrongfully.
20 Those who render me evil for good accuse me because I follow after good.

I have found that the names and faces change, but there will always be “problem people” in my life. My goal is not to change them or remove them. Instead, I try to focus on what needs to change and be removed from me.

21 Do not forsake me, O Lord! O my God, be not far from me!
22 Make haste to help me, O Lord, my salvation!

God will be a refuge for you when you feel attacked and a comforter when you feel forsaken. That does not mean that he also does not want to help you grow through your adversity. I do not think His final plan of redemption for you is possible without you going through that metamorphosis. You will have to change ad God changes your circumstances for you.

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The Messy Truth

The Power of Authenticity and Vulnerability

Today I am going to start something new. Well, in actuality, I guess I am really continuing something old. I want to start posting some Throwback Thursday posts on my blog. These will be posts I have shared in years gone by that you may not have had a chance to read. Our first #throwbackbackthursday talks about messy truths and Instagram. I think this is a fitting way to kick off this collection of posts.

The Instagram Surprise

Instagram, while currently very popular, originally caught many of us by surprise. Who would have thought that an app that distorts your already low-quality cell phone images in an effort to create social media hipster art would become America’s favorite place to view pictures of each other’s kids, pets, and yes, even “selfies?”

At the time of this writing, there are over 200 million active users in the photo-sharing network. After only two years of existence, and without generating any income through ads, Instagram sold for $1 billion. That’s a big deal for an app that limits your pics to a square on your cell phone and was mostly used from its inception by people in skinny jeans and ironic shirts to take pictures of their lattes. 

It’s now common to see people both old and young taking pictures of their food at restaurants, and holding their phones high in the air with the screen facing towards them to make sure they get everyone in for that perfect selfie. I have always enjoyed taking pictures and personally took to the fun photo app, well, instantly.

Not everyone was impressed right away though. One friend of mine refused to get on the Instagram bandwagon at first because “putting a grainy filter and adding torn edges to an already horrible photo doesn’t make it creative or art.” He now regularly posts pics of his kids and food. No “selfies” yet though…. It’s only a matter of time.

The Perfect Selfie

For a long time, I have treated the truth of my experiences, disappointments, and failures like Instagram. I have gone out of my way to give the best presentation I can. This requires that I cut out parts of my story, the panoramic view that includes the pain and doubts, in order to fit it in only what I think people want to see; the perfectly filtered little square that is easy to “like.”

No one wants that surprise pic of them just waking up posted online. We want to keep retaking the photo until we get just the right image. Then we slip that perfect filter on there to give it that nice little extra touch. Everything looks perfect. Our lives appear so wonderful, but we lose something in the process – authenticity.

It’s the same way in life. Just as there are different filters for whatever picture you would like to post online, there are also different layers of the truth you generally share with others. 

For some people, life is just a bowl of cherries. You go from one mountaintop to the other, and I’m so happy that you have that going for you. The rest of us though have to walk through valleys in-between our mountaintops. We don’t need a lesson on how to live life on the peak. We need something that is going to get us through the valley.

Authenticity and Vulnerability

Authenticity and vulnerability are what give that to people, but it comes at a risk. The risk is rejection, and possibly some of your pride. The reward is a strength you never knew you had, and freedom to be exactly who you were made to be – an imperfect child of God that walks in the peace of knowing you are His. This liberates you from the weighty limitation of trying to maintain everyone else’s expectations. This is the battle that I had to overcome before I could start sharing my fish out of church story. I have honestly, never stopped wrestling with it.

It was while with a friend in downtown Baton Rouge when I think I first decided to step past this barrier and share my journey in a vulnerable way. We had our cameras with us and were exploring places to take photographs. As the conversation progressed, he eventually asked me why I left the ministry. I told him it was never my intention to be out of the church world, but I that I was glad things didn’t work out the way I planned.

My Messy Truth

Then, instead of putting a filter on things, and summing it up in a way where we could both end the conversation with, “Praise the Lord!” and a smile, I began to share with him my messy truth. I talked about my doubts, disappointments, and unanswered questions. I didn’t share the promises I was standing on at the time, because I had lost my ability to do anything but kneel a long time ago. 

We talked about how I didn’t know what was next, and how things would end, but that I have never felt more satisfied in my relationship with God, and with who I was becoming in the process. He listened unconditionally. He didn’t give advice about where I had obviously fallen short, or how he would have done it differently to avoid some of my wrong turns. Instead, he offered support. At one point he even said, “I hope you are writing this down. This could be a book!” I had thought about writing my story down for others before, but his encouragement that day is what pushed me over the edge. After this conversation, I began to wonder if what I had experienced could encourage others who were in a valley themselves, or ready for a new way of looking at their religious comfort zone.

There is a place for discretion and even Instagram filters. I am all for that. Sometimes though, I want to know what is going on outside of the square. I want the Imax version of the story. The messy truth can leave the hearer flabbergasted. It may even confront their own lack of authenticity, and cause them to reject you. The messy truth does not say how you want things to be; it just says how they are. It is the unwrapped present, the selfie without the filter or the posing. It leaves things hanging. When you are finished sharing the messy truth there are usually more questions than answers. It’s real, raw, but it is also refreshing when Christ is in the center of it.

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Digging Ditches

Inspiration to Reach Your Mountaintop

By: Suzannah Driver

What could go wrong?

If you can do any other job other than church planting and pastoring, do that!” Joe and I looked at each other and joined the chuckles coming from other future church planters sitting in the room. We had a combined twenty-two years of ministry under our belts and knew God had called us to plant a life-giving church in Pensacola, Florida. So, what could go wrong?! The short answer is: Everything

Nearly three years into leading and pastoring Echo Life, I think back on the cautionary statement spoken to the eager church planters. Would we have ever chosen a different route? No. We know through and through this is exactly where we are supposed to be and what we are called to be doing. But this has single-handedly been the most challenging and difficult three years we have experienced in ministry. 

Reaching the Summit

Mount Fuji, though it is a mere 12,388 feet tall, is no joke. I have had the opportunity to summit this mountain twice. On both occasions, we began the ascent at midnight, guided only by our headlamps and a small, braided cord leading to the top. The climb is virtually straight up. The terrain is made up of unstable pumice stones. The air is thin, making it difficult to breathe. Most of my climb was alone, in the dark, feeling light-headed, stumbling my way up, and rolling my ankles at least 30 times. This is also church planting. 

I would love to say that everything has been a beautiful mountaintop experience, but that would be so far from the truth. It has been a lonely uphill climb full of bumps and bruises. For several months now, I have felt like I have been struggling up a mountain and have only seen the light of day for a moment. This is the kind of discouragement that leaves you sitting on your laundry room floor weeping and asking God if this really was the right move (by the way, the enemy is a jerk and loves to kick you while you’re down. Don’t pay any attention to the thoughts you have in these dark moments. Find a friend who can share a light with you and show you that you are still moving in the right direction). 

Kings Digging Ditches

As I have been fighting my way through the deep, dark, discouragement, my time with Jesus has landed me in 2 Kings 3. Three kings have come together to fight against Moab and they find themselves wandering in the desert and completely out of water. They call for a prophet and Elisha shows up on the scene and gives them a word. “Dig ditches all over the valley.”

I imagine these kings looked at each other in disbelief. Surely they knew about the exodus story (kind of a big deal). They knew God had provided water from a rock, manna from heaven, so surely He could do it again! But no, God instructs the people to…digditches.

This is the desert. The sun beating down, the tools are primitive. The prophet continues, “You won’t hear the wind, you won’t see the rain, but this valley is going to fill up with water…This is easy for God to do; he will also hand over Moab to you.” (2 Kings 16-19 MSG) 

Can you imagine crying out to God for help and then Him telling you to do some back-breaking work in the desert. “Dig ditches.” How many? How deep? For how long? When is the rain showing up again? How are these going to be filled? The people had no answers but instead had an opportunity to operate in faith and obedience. 

Filling Up the Valley

Like many other believers and pastors, I am in a season of digging ditches. I am asking God for provisions, and I know He will provide, but the nagging question of when and how make faithful obedience even more difficult. Add to that the age of social media and I’m over here looking at other churches wondering why they got the provisions and I’m still having to dig with no end in sight.

This is where I have been the last several months. Many days of tears, frustration, anger, and feeling abandoned by God. Then I remember, “ You won’t hear the wind, you won’t see the rain, but this valley is going to fill up with water…this is EASY for God to do…” My responsibility is to be faithful. My responsibility is to obey. My responsibility is to dig in where I am placed and not check to see whose ditch is already finished. 

Maybe you’ve been digging for weeks, months, or years. Maybe you feel like your ditch is significantly deeper than the people around you. Maybe God is preparing you to be a well of great depth for future generations. Maybe He is preparing you for far more than you could ever imagine. Don’t give up! Don’t keep looking for the wind and rain, but know and believe that He is faithful. He sees you. He will answer you! Keep digging! You are not alone. 

Suzannah Driver

You can follow Suzannah on social media at @SuzannahDriver. You can find out more about the church she pastors along with her husband Joe in Pensacola, Florida, at echolifechurch.com.

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You Can Never Have Too Much Ice Cream

Misconception: Grace Is All We Need

*What you are about to read is Chapter 2 from my book, Grace Is A Dirty Word. I put this together as an ebook about 3 years ago. It was the first free download I ever offered on my blog. Recently I updated it and am making it available for free just a couple more weeks when you subscribe to my blog. After that, you can get it amazon after that in paperback or kindle.

Running to Extremes

Too much of a good thing is a bad thing. It’s true with queso and ice cream, as well as religion and grace.

When you have experienced too much of one thing, the temptation is to swing to the other extreme. Balance is the more appropriate response.

This pendulum swing is especially a problem for me because I am a man of extremes. For me, balance is going in every direction at full-speed at the same time.

Too Much Ice Cream

Have you ever noticed it becomes more socially acceptable to eat giant portions of ice cream at an ice cream parlor compared to someone’s home? They can scoop a whole pint onto your cone after you wait in line for it and no one bats an eye. Ask for more than one scoop after dinner only if you want people to be known as someone with no self-control.

On one of my first trips with ARC, there was a Ben-n-Jerry’s Ice Cream shop across from the hotel where we were staying. I did not know such a place of wonder existed. I thought Ben-n-Jerry’s decadent treats were only available in tiny proportions from the grocery store freezer section. 

This was different. Mere footsteps away from my room was all the ice cream I could ever hope for. The unending possibilities enamored me. I wasn’t on a work trip. I was living in a fantasy world.  The magnetic pull on my heart, mind, and soul – the very essence of my humanity, was undeniable.

There was some talk of going there after dinner, but I could not wait until then. What if by some travesty the group changed their mind and decided to go somewhere absolutely horrible, like a fat-free yogurt shop, instead? I was not willing to roll the dice and take such an unwarranted risk. So, I quickly unpacked, and then walked across the street to indulge in cold, creamy goodness before our meeting.

Now I could have gotten one scoop, but that would almost be an insult to Mr. Ben and the great gentleman that is known as Jerry. So, I got two scoops. One was a marvelous mound of peanut butter cup and the other a refreshing ball of mint chocolate chip. I couldn’t allow these spectacular creations to go unnoticed in a small paper cup either. They needed to be exalted on a pedestal of waffle dipped in chocolate and covered in sprinkles.

There couldn’t have been anyone happier in a 100-mile radius. I walked down the sidewalk, licking and holding up my hand-scooped gluttony in the air for all to see.

I had gone overboard for sure, but I wasn’t finished yet.

The group did decide to go to Ben-n-Jerry’s after our meeting, and I again got yet another scoop of ice cream.

The guilt was too much for me, and so I confessed my sugary sins to one of my co-workers. After telling him of my previous trip to the ice cream shop, he said, “Sounds like you have a problem with balance.”

Finding Balance

You see, dedicating myself to eating broccoli for the rest of my life would not have solved my problem, because eating ice cream was not the issue. The real problem was that I was not able to enjoy ice cream in balance.

If you have come out of a controlling home or rigorous religious environment, then you may think that rules, religion, and commitment are the problem. Maybe you think grace is all you need.

If this is the case, then adding grace will not cure your sickness. You will just take grace to the extreme you once took your religion, rules, and commitments.

This was a temptation for me once I realized I had become out of balance with my religious commitments. Was grace all I needed?

Grace and Truth

The answer to that is as simple as looking at Jesus.

The Gospel of John has an excellent description of the Son of God:

“And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.” 

John 1:14

The only thing we really need is Jesus. He came in grace and truth. This is important because, in a day and age in the church when people are pitting grace and truth against each other, we need to understand that God put them together in His Son.

Grace and truth work together, not against each other. A lack of either would be the equivalent of a bird with only one wing. No matter how much you focus on making that one wing stronger, without the other, you are just going to crash and burn.

We can’t sit on the beach and eat ice cream all day, or we will grow overweight and unhealthy. We need moments of refreshing but should also remember our mission. God wants us to enjoy life, but life should never become about ourselves.

We need grace, and we also need truth. We need refreshing and also refocusing. The key is to find balance. Going to any extreme is simply unhealthy. 

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Don’t Be So Hard On Yourself

The Case for Enjoying Life

I used to think exhaustion and spirituality went hand-in-hand. I bragged about not taking time off to rest. I felt I always had to be doing something if I was truly committed to the cause. I now know finding time to relax, and having fun outside of religious activities are not things that should cause me to feel guilty.

The truth is, you don’t have to be hard on yourself to be a deeply spiritual person.

Reading through Ecclesiastes recently reminded me how much God wants us to enjoy life. Religious obligation doesn’t want you to know that. If the enemy can convince God’s most devoted servants that pleasure is sin and rest is a weakness, then zealous believers may give up after experiencing exhaustion, depression, and frustration.

5 Keys to Enjoying Life from Ecclesiastes


Don’t be too good

It seems the key to lasting happiness is balance; not religious extremes. Enjoy life but also don’t be foolish. Remember, we will give an account to God.

“So don’t be too good or too wise! Why destroy yourself? On the other hand, don’t be too wicked either. Don’t be a fool! Why die before your time? Pay attention to these instructions, for anyone who fears God will avoid both extremes.”

Ecclesiastes 7:16-18 NLT

Enjoy what you have

It’s also not useful to always be dreaming about what you could have or wishing for what you don’t have. Appreciate what God has given you.

“Enjoy what you have rather than desiring what you don’t have. Just dreaming about nice things is meaningless—like chasing the wind.”

Ecclesiastes 6:9 NLT

Have a party

Do you know anyone who could use a splash of cologne? Then send them this verse! I love that God doesn’t always want me on a diet, counting calories, and making my own clothes. He’s ok with me getting in line at the buffet every now and then and finding something nice to wear. Life was meant to be enjoyed!

“So go ahead. Eat your food with joy, and drink your wine with a happy heart, for God approves of this! Wear fine clothes, with a splash of cologne!”

Ecclesiastes 9:7-8 NLT

Most of my youth was wasted on being out of balance. I was much too hard on myself because I thought that was required to be holy and pleasing to God. In college, I avoiding many “fun” activities that were not sinful but would take away from doing “spiritual” things. Looking back, I wish I would have taken more of that time instead of being so serious.

Find balance

Again, balance is the key. Not going to either extreme is the answer to an enjoyable, meaningful Christianity.

“Young people, it’s wonderful to be young! Enjoy every minute of it. Do everything you want to do; take it all in. But remember that you must give an account to God for everything you do.”

Ecclesiastes 11:9 NLT

Learn to rest

This is where I am now. I love to learn. I can also develop anxiety from my continual pursuit of knowledge. God doesn’t want His children to be worn out. He wants us to enjoy life and remember we will give an account to him for every secret thing, whether good or bad. This is something I need to remember.

“But, my child, let me give you some further advice: Be careful, for writing books is endless, and much study wears you out.”

Ecclesiastes 12:12 NLT

What do you think? Did any of this strike a nerve with you? Agree or disagree, I’d like to hear from you!

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Your Opinion Matters

I need your help.

I’ll cut to the chase. Would you mind taking a moment and writing a review for my book Shipwrecked: A Journey to Discover Authentic Faith? With so many self-published books available the only thing that separates the good from the not so good are the reviews. This month my author rank on Amazon has gone from over 500,000 to 80,000. This is for all authors, and is a big jump. I’d like to take advantage of any momentum to help get this book in the hands of people it can help.

It would mean so much if you could take a couple of minutes and write a quick review by clicking this link: Write a Review.

But what if I haven’t read the book? Can I still write a review?

Here are three answers:

  1. Yes, you can always buy the book, and then write a review. Posting a picture or verifying you have read the book in your review is enormous! It is available in paperback and e-reader version to make it easy to get in your hands. Click here to purchase.
  2. Yes, you can write on a review based on being a reader of my blog even though you haven’t read that particular book. Again, this helps legitimize the book for those who do not know me.
  3. Yes, I will send you a free copy if you do not have it in your budget to buy the book and you would like to read it. I do not want money to be an obstacle. Use the contact me form on my blog to request a free copy (include your email address), and I will send you a digital version with no strings attached.

That last one is a big deal because I have never made this book free. I have worked hard on it and believe it is worth purchasing. I also don’t want anyone who wants to read it to not to be able to if they are interested.

You can find out more about the book here.

You can purchase the book here.

You can write a review of the book here.

I would appreciate your help in getting the word out about this short story that is written to help anyone who has experienced or wants to avoid a shipwrecked faith.

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The Struggle Is Real

What to do when we doubt?

If you don’t struggle with faith, then you may not have it. Often times, we believe the opposite is true. We doubt because we doubt. But to question our faith, there must be something on the line, or there would be no reason to doubt.

Fishing and Faith

I grew up fishing. Most of the time it was in the muddy waters in between the barrier islands of the Mississippi Gulf Coast and the man-made made beaches that make up the shoreline along Highway 90. Recently, this love of fishing has been rekindled. A friend bought me a fly fishing rod that I have been really enjoying. Fishing is a great way to relax and, also spend quality time with my two girls.

Yesterday I went out to the pond in our nieghborhood and didn’t catch anything. There was no struggle. Nothing pulling on the line. Today was different. I was only out there five minutes when I felt a tug. The tug became a pull, and then the pull became a struggle to bring in the fish.

The Collision of Dirt and the Divine

I think faith is a lot like this. There is back and forth; give and take. At times, the real thing is a struggle. It is messy. It’s a mixture of the temporary things of earth and the eterna things of heavenl. It’s the dirt and the divine colliding. When there is nothing on the line, there is no struggle. But the bigger the fish, the more significant the faith, the messier it can be.

Faith is not a supernatural power reserved for the spiritual elite. It is not cold and clean formulas that spit out what we want when we give what it demands. Neither is it a checklist we can feel good about as long as we complete and shame-ridden if we do not. Our faith is a system of beliefs rooted in the trust of a real-life relationship with God.

The Struggle Is What Makes It Real

God never changes. We can trust that, but our experience with faith will continue to grow and change. We are hoping in the invisible while having to work with the tangible. Blindly ignoring that may get rid of some anxiety, and may cause you to appear more spiritual, but it also isn’t real. There will be a struggle, but that should remind us that our faith is genuine.

What do you think? I would love to hear your thoughts! Make sure to leave a comment on social-media and share this with a friend you tink it would encourage!

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The Best Advice in Avengers: Endgame

Becoming the Hero You Are Meant to Be

I am not one that goes to the movies for my life lessons and principles. Even so, I couldn’t help but notice some incredible advice while watching Avengers: Endgame.

You won’t need to have seen the movie to catch the point of this powerful moment in the film. A minor spoiler is included though, so read on with caution.

Throughout the story, we see how the loss to Thanos affects each of the team members differently. Thor becomes depressed and racked with guilt. Then, while still cowering from being the man he was meant to be, as well as who his team needs him to be, he gets some advice from his mother that becomes a turning point for him:

“Everyone fails at who they’re supposed to be… A measure of a person, of a hero, is how well they succeed at being who they are.”

The only thing I would change about this would be to say it is how well we succeed at being who God made us to be. I wonder how many of us are running from that person, “who we are,” with the best intentions in one hand, and reasonable excuses in the other.

The reality is, we need more authentic leaders. We need you to be the real you, and not who you think others want you to be. It’s too easy to burn out and become discouraged trying to wear Saul’s Armor. There is also the bitterness that comes when we blame others for pressuring us to be something we weren’t designed to be. Sometimes this outside pressure even comes from a good place. It doesn’t mean it is best for us though. We have to have the courage to speak up.

Many of us keep striving for “who we were supposed to be” instead of who “God meant us to be” because we want to avoid failing at the thing that most reveals our authentic-self. Sometimes it’s easier to fail at something that doesn’t mean that much to us than it to risk failing at what we really want.

A life spent avoiding failure will eventually be one defined by it. Having courage doesn’t mean you are confident you will not fail, but that you are determined to get back up if you do.

I know what it is like to feel I don’t have permission from those around me to be who I am meant to be. I have been guilty of carrying the burden of who I think I am supposed to be for far too long as well.

That is why I like the motherly advice Thor received so much. And since I am being so cinematic with this post, I’ll go so far as to say it reminds me of what Elrond said to Aragorn in Lord of the Rings.

“Put aside the ranger. Become who you were born to be.”

Both are things we all need to hear from time-to-time. We need to be reminded to put aside the person who doesn’t want to be connected to anyone or tied down by responsibilities(Aragorn), as well as the person who is afraid to be the who they were meant to be because of past hurts, present expectations of others, or fear of future failure.

What did you think about Frigga’s advice to Thor? Did you think it was good or not? One of my friends said it was their least favorite parts in the movie. I would love to hear your thoughts!

If you are looking for some inspiration on becoming the best version of yourself, then I suggest taking a look at my book, Shipwrecked: A Journey to Discover Authentic Faith. In this allegorical short story, you will get a glimpse of the sometimes agonizing path between religious disappointment and discovering an authentic faith. Shipwrecked is about finding hope when you want to give up and taking the risk to follow your heart. It is an adventure filled with love, courage, and grace that will challenge you and encourage your faith. If you are not able to purchase a copy I would be happy to send you a digital version for free. Just make a request through the contact form on this site.

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#YoungMinister Advice

What is leading your decisions?

In Twitter’s hay day it was popular for people to post the hashtag #youngminister and then give advice. I don’t remember posting advice with that hashtag, but I did enjoy reading the wisdom that came from more experienced leaders than me.

I think if Moses was to use the hashtag #youngminister he would give advice that resembles the actions of the young leader Moses was mentoring in Exodus. We can see what happens here:

Exodus 33:11 – “Thus the Lord used to speak to Moses face to face, as a man speaks to his friend. When Moses turned again into the camp, his assistant Joshua the son of Nun, a young man, would not depart from the tent.

Long before Joshua had the opportunity to lead, he learned the principle of lingering. He positioned himself in the presence of God before taking a position leading the people of God. He was learning to be led by his principles instead of his opportunities.

Are you led by your principles or by your opportunities?

Being led by your opportunities will get you immediate recognition, but it will also get you out of position for long term success. Being led by your principles may cause you to miss out on some immediate praise and attention, but the long term reward will be worth it. Those who are led by opportunity over value how they start the race while those who are led by principle understand it is more important how you finish the race.

It would be decades before Joshua took his place as leader of Israel. During that time he learned the value of positioning himself in the presence of God instead of the presence of man. The result is he became one of the greatest leaders in the Bible. He led the people into their promised inheritance and saw many great victories.

We should be led by our principles instead of our opportunities. Prioritizing principles over opportunities leads to long term success. This doesn’t mean we should avoid great opportunities. Valuing your principles above your opportunities will actually bring much better opportunities. The question is which is more important to you?

Joshua’s #youngminister example shows us that positioning ourselves before men may bring immediate recognition, but positioning ourselves before God brings long term stability, success, and strength.

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Do What You Love

Burning the candle at both ends

I used to think my heart was the enemy. I thought to listen to my heart’s desires was tantamount to sin. I felt if I was suffering or doing something hard, then I must be pleasing God. Enjoying things or doing something that came easy was equal to not trusting God. Because of this mindset, I put my strengths aside and always focused on growing my weaknesses. I didn’t take time to enjoy life. I always felt there was something more that I could be doing.

Man, I was so wrong.

If you are only doing the things you love to do, then you are making a mistake. At the same time, if you are just doing things that you do not enjoy, then you are also making a mistake. It’s like I heard Pastor Chris recently say, “If you are burning the candles at both ends then you are not as bright as you think you area!”

Ministry Burn Out

On my first day on campus at LSU in the fall of 2000 the school newspaper read, LSU Ranked #1 Party School. I made it my mission to change that. I would pray, preach, and proselytize until we were off that list.

I became so devoted to my mission that I decided to avoid attending sporting events or joining a rec league team at school. I didn’t pursue any social or extracurricular activities. If it didn’t have to do with church or ministry, then I didn’t want to have anything to do with it.

The result was burnt out and exhaustion. I did see some great things happen in ministry on our campus, but they were not sustainable. I hadn’t learned to do the things I love along with doing the things that needed to be done.

Where is your trust?

Time would go by, and even after college, I had a hard time learning to do what I love. This all lead to me making a massive change in my life to rediscover my faith. Before that, I wore the title workaholic like a badge of honor. I didn’t know it was only showing my wounds to the world. To me, taking a day off or having a hobby that was unspiritual was a sign of weakness. I didn’t realize by not knowing how to rest I was just putting my trust in my own strength instead of God’s.

Enjoying God

We shouldn’t be lead by our feelings, but we also should not be avoiding the enjoyable things of life because we think it is more spiritual. I love it when my kids enjoy the things I provide for them. I imagine God is much the same. When we do what we love we are experiencing the love God has for us.

What do you think? Do you feel like most people are too lazy or are there too many burning the candle at both ends and consider its spiritual when in actuality it’s not? Let me know in the comments.