4 ways to share truth without burning bridges
I recently read a post on social media that was right but wasn’t very friendly. I wondered if the thought would have gotten more traction if it would have been shared with a smile. When we are right but don’t present our truth in a right way we alienate ourselves. This not only discourages us but also keeps our solutions from those who need them most.
How do we share truth without burning bridges? There are probably many ways, but here are four that came to me.
We disarm people with humility. By stating the obvious like, we don’t know everything, we could be wrong, and that we are just presenting one way of seeing things, we cause people to put down their defenses. When we make big statement and don’t give room for the perspective of others we only get both sides more entrenched in what they already believe.
Build a bridge
Making dogmatic statements or targeting certain groups with identifiable phraseology is like firing shots over the bow. People aren’t going to come out to listen in this situation. They are going to duck and cover, or fire back.
Making “we” instead of “you” statements says we are in this together. This builds the bridge to their understanding. So does owning our part of past mistakes. It is easier for people to join us by crossing a bridge that we extended than it is to climb down and then up the cliffs of our different opinions.
Invite people over
We need to make sure we have earned the right to instruct the group of people we want to influence. A social media account doesn’t magically make us an expert. Acknowledging that by inviting people to be part of a conversation instead of just asking them to “like” our bold statements grows our influence more than a single post ever could.
One way to do this it to ask sincere questions. Judgmental questioning that casts blame doesn’t help. This just points out how others are on what we see as the wrong side. It doesn’t invite them over to what we believe is the right side.
Abraham Lincoln is famous for preserving the Union. His life also shows that he was able to build a team of rivals instead of like minded friends to lead our nation. He was once accused of treating his enemies too kindly. He responded by saying, “Do I not destroy my enemies when I make them my friends?” When was the last time you “destroyed” an enemy in this way?
We should be careful not to take positions that make it impossible to embrace people if they do come to our side. When someone lashes out respond with grace. Billy Hornsby said that anytime we back someone into a corner we should be wiling to let them out. Give room for there to be people different than you on your side of an argument. If not, there won’t be room for anyone to make their way over from the other side. Once they do make sure you embrace them.
This is only part one of two on sharing truth without burning bridges. In my next post I am going to talk about how to know when you have crossed the line from apologetics to just plain annoying. Subscribe and not only will you be the first to know when the post is out, but I will also give you a free gift.
For more thoughts on this subject check out Chris Hodges’s book The Daniel Dilemma.